Blex's Deodorant / Antiperspirant Tee Shirt Stain Resuscitation Experiment

Blex's Deodorant / Antiperspirant Tee Stain Resuscitation Experiment

We all wear a ton of tee-shirts throughout our lives and some of us (like me) prefer to use a gel deodorant. I've tried the using other types of deodorant but I'm picky and OCD and don't feel the same without using right-guard deodorant and antiperspirant gel. YET, what SUCKS is that antiperspirants all have ALUMINUM as an ingredient, and after wearing teeshirts for a while, the armpits get all white, stained, and crusty !!! I've amassed and discarded so many teeshirts throughout the years and all get ruined after about a year of wearing. I thought to myself a few years ago there has to be a way to get the best of both worlds and wear gel deodorant and keep my shirts from getting the white-death resulting in a slow death from aluminum-armpit virus! BUT NOW in 2013, I've began to notice the aluminum stains are occurring faster and faster and I can hear the shirts in my closet crying over and over again "Help Me!! Help Me!!"

So, a few years ago I decided to look up how to get these type of stains off of my shirt armpits. There a number of techniques people have used and had success. But me, I've tried a ton of them and got no results! My attempts at tee shirt resuscitation have all failed! People claim to be able to remove the stains by using certain methods of removal but I believe they are confusing sweat stains with deodorant sweat stains because I've been shit out of luck in all my attempts.

I usually use a navy blue Brewers jersey shirt as a test shirt. For example, I've used the below Ryan Braun jersey shirt several times while trying to win the war on the stubborn stains.

I can't imagine how the shirt feels being subject to such crude experiments. The wounded shirt has sat over and over in my closet and, if it were alive, I probably would hear it screaming in the middle of the night!

Here is a list of the methods I have tried using while attempting to resurrect my tee shirts back from the dead:

Vinegar: Some say soak in vinegar. Bullshit, I've soaked the armpits of the shirts for hours and hours multiple times and the stains are always ... STILL THERE!
Aspirin: Some say rub aspirin. Again, NOPE! Tried that, nothing ... STILL THERE!
Lava Soap: Some say use lava soap. WRONG AGAIN! Tried that and lo and behold ... STILL THERE!
Mouthwash: I thought maybe the alcohol might make the stains heat off. Rather than pour and waste a bottle of fine Jack Daniels on the stains I tried mouthwash. Bad idea ... STILL THERE !!!
Lemon Pledge: Some people claim that soaking shirts in lemon pledge makes the the stains vanish into thin air. THAT'S A NEGATIVE ... STILL THERE!
Salt: Some say table salt does the job. No sir-e-bob it does not! I grabbed a box of Motrin Salt, poured it on the armpits, scrubbed it in, and NOPE ... STILL THERE!
Toothpaste: Thought that maybe some of those odd whitening chemicals and crap they put in toothpaste might do the job. I was wrong ... STILL THERE!
Resolve Pre-Treat Stain Remover Stick: This product claims to remove every stain in the book. So I rubbed a crap load on the stains .. Yeah Right! Plus, seeing I bought a product that specifically claims to remove stains, I felt betrayed as the outcome was (of course) ... STILL THERE!
KaBoom! Soap Scum Remover: I figured that since it cleans nicely and changes colors when you spray in the shower it may work. Wrong ... STILL THERE!
Joy Dish Soap: It gets dishes clean so I figured maybe it would work some magic! A futile effort ... STILL THERE!
Pine Sol: It's a good "All Purpose Cleaner" so I figured might as well give this a try and see if it does the job. Tossed the stuff on it and scrubbed it in really good and NOPE ... STILL THERE!
OXY Clean: Some say this shit works like magic and never fails so I tried this method and sprinkled the crap power on both sides of the arm pit and scrubbed it in as hard as I could. NOTHING AGAIN ... STILL THERE!

Here are some other known attempts that I have yet to try:

Lemon Juice
Borax
Baking Soda
Meat Tenderizer
Ammonia
Piss (alright, I made this one up)

The DEO-GO Experiment: 5/29/2013:

I decided I couldn't keep punishing the shirts so I bought After receiving my bottle of DEO-GO, it was EXPERIMENT TIME! The instructions said turn the shirts inside out, spray on the stains, then rub with a "short-bristle brush," let sit for 30 minutes, and then wash and dry like normal. So, after grabbing about 8-10 shirts with a bunch of stains I did exactly what the directions said. But, I was confused as to what a "short-bristle brush" actually was. I even googled the words and looked at the pictures like a lamer to learn what it looked like! I had this tiny brush that looks like a mini paint brush and figured that should suffice.

FIRST RESULT: STILL THERE ... BUT ... I saw IMPROVEMENT! The stains on the inside of the armpits looked about half-removed but I worry that maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see and maybe nothing had changed.

The directions also say to repeat if treating doesn't work the first time. I figured that while treating the inside maybe not enough of the goo-spray got on the outside. So I flipped the shirts non-inside-out and did it again!

SECOND RESULT: IT ACTUALLY WORKED !!! DEO-GO has proved to me that is the defibrillator of deodorant / antiperspirant armpit stains !!! In hindsight, I think it probably would work better to START by NOT turning the shirts inside out. After all, that is what people see and what you are looking to remove. Furthermore, USE PRESSURE when using the brush to scrub the goo into the stains.

Here is the Yovani Gallardo shirt that I thought was ready for burial (aka, donating to goodwill):

!!!!!!!! WINNER !!!!!!!!!

Conclusion:

What else can I say, apparently I just made a web page that advertises for DEO-GO! If the company visits this page and wishes to thank me by sending me tons of money or a lifetime supply of the product feel free to CONTACT ME !! For the rest of you, I hope I can save you all from trying the methods listed above that DON'T WORK. Just buy this and WA-LA .. Resuscitated SHIRTS !!!